Thursday, September 4, 2008

Putting on The Brakes!

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Basic Details....

It seems like lately I have been taking an inventory of "Stephanie" details.  I guess what I mean is I have been redefining what are my priorities, responsibilities, major personality traits, and ambitions truly are.  Get used to seeing the word "Ambitions" with me from now on because that is the word that was gifted to me most recently right from scripture.  What it all comes down to is that I am a person who is usually an optimist, and I try my best to find the bright side in every situation I encounter.  There are so many things I have to be thankful for in my life to this point.  Daily I am learning to appreciate the beauty that surrounds me and my family.  I am constantly looking for ways to simplify everything- even walking to my car in the rain today- I stopped myself from thinking about being cold and wet and instead tried to watch individual raindrops fall from the heavens to a explosive splash onto the surface of the planet- ok, I mean the parking lot- anyways why I am sharing this moment is because this is one of my details I am working on.  The detail is to slow it down whenever possible.  I tend to get going in my day, and before too long I am going 110 miles per hour and surely missing some of the beautiful scenery because that speed does not always allow time to focus on the surroundings.  That speed is sometimes a portal to irritability, memory loss, exhaustion and an empty feeling that I am disappointed upon recognizing when it happens.  Generally the picture I painted in the last sentence is a place I seldom experience, because fortunately I have adapted ways to handle that faster pace when it happens.  So when I do hit it, I am usually able to catch myself before spiraling down too deep.  Oh, but when I slow it down and take my time to organize where I am going and what I am doing, there is a peace in my mind body and soul that is so delicious.  It is these times that I see and hear and have even experienced some of the most precious moments of my life.  Watching my children's curiousity carry them, everything that is still new in their young world, they find it all purely fascinating!  Hearing leaves rustle in applause at the lovely songs of evening crickets and frogs is one of my favorite songs that beats any tune on my Ipod, hands down!  Experiencing the beauty of friendship.   Just listening, and being quiet, when being quiet is the anecdote for too much of whatever is just too much at that exact moment.  These are the details that I want my life to made up of.  If I make it my ambition to be quiet and be more aware of this world I live in, then maybe I will be fulfilling my life's purposes that God has hoped for me.  That is all I can truly hope for in the end.  Details- so many- I feel like I have only scratched the surface of trying to capture these thoughts that reside inside of me.  Patience and persistence, making sure I take the time to preserve these details is something I will be striving to do- so that once I have identified all these details I can defend them and keep them healthy.  In the end all I am trying to accomplish is a personal definition of myself that is honest, and true with no question of what is important to me and where my love and priorities are.  So I am putting on the brakes and enjoying the view, smiling and praising God for all the blessings in my life!