Sunday, January 20, 2013

Remembering how to Just Be

I'm holding back tears as I begin to write this Post. I have found a place to lay my stress and weariness aside and just be. Its like a treasure that was buried so deep has just reached the surface for the first in a very long time. The carefree stride I may have known as a child has returned for me to experience now as an adult. I have had an opportnity to appreciate and not take for granted as I once did probably when I was younger, a beautiful freedom. Oh the many days I used to spend and start out without a plan or timeline- only to experience and uncover the coolest adventures and make the best memories while running through the woods or riding my bike around the block.

What I love about his particular stop of this trip is the simplicity and the rare ability to be so close to nature comfortably. I love it! Every breathe that I take is refreshing. . I am finding that saying goodbye to this place is like saying good bye to a long lost friend that I am afraid I may not see again for a very long time. It's amazing to me that it took traveling over thousands of miles to finally get to this point but now that I made it, maybe I am afraid I might lose it again.

We have been staying in a Yurt- I will write more on this later but it is the coolest thing that I never knew about until 3 days ago.

No multi tasking and worries of communication here- there are no phones or Internet on this mountainside in Big Sur. So without warning I am disconnected from the world I have grown accustomed to being apart of. I don't miss it- Besides the concern of contacting my kids for a our daily chats while I am away, I do really miss their giggles over the phone.... I actually miss a lot more about them than that. Like the smell of their wet shampooed hair. Riley's hand rubbing my pregnant belly and all his anxious excitement to be a big brother. His busy boy constant movement until he finally falls into deep sleep so quickly. I miss Lauren's soft smile, and caring eyes- the way she holds my hand on walks and in the car. I miss them a lot and on every new discovery during this trip I think about how they would absolutely love this too.

The gentle warmth of the sun is a loving embrace here
If I close my eyes this breezy hillside could be anywhere, but when I open them the view is magnificently unlike anything I have ever seen with my own eyes. All the pictures that I had seen in my lifetime of places like this simply don't compare to this real moment that touches every one of my senses.
As I look out over the ocean there are whales in my distant vision, following the ocean currents, instinctively guiding their young towards a bright future of warmth and food in the southern seas.
I am surrounded by the smells of subtle natural perfumes, of rosemary and lavender, lemon verbena and pine.
And when I take a deep breathe everything just slows down a bit.
I think of how my Laren and Riley would love this- everything I have taught them about happiness and making healthy choices is available here.
I rub my pregnant belly and let our baby know this is a good healthy moment for both of us too. Soft little kicks from within seem to agree.
My fingers are interlocked with my best friend and love, as he seems to be in the same state of mind too- a sweet boyish grin on his face.
I can hear the ocean, the wind, the barking seals at night.
The windows and doors are open and invite the surrounding atmosphere to cradle us to sleep each night.
In the morning the sunrise over the mountain is amazing
In the evening the sunset paints a never ending picture with a palette of tangerine orange and crimson reds, purples and blushy tones that extend forever.

I can truly just be here. Thankfulness in my heart abounds.