Saturday, October 11, 2008

Something Wonderful

Me and my Beautiful Mom!

With My Mom and Dad Mike

My Dad and Step Mom Dawn with the kids last summer 07 in New York

Dad and Mom Dawn in New York, we were together at a Bluegrass Wine Picnic.

There was something wonderful that happened to me yesterday that really touched my heart and soul.  It involved two separate events, that when put together, or back to back as it happened, it really had an effect on my heart.  Just to give you an idea where I was coming from yesterday leading up to this moment in time, I will tell you a little bit about the earlier part of my day.....

I had spent the first half of my waking hours focused on Organic Chemistry and the big exam that would be required for me to complete.  The exam was pretty important since it is one of four tests that will add up to be 40 percent of my overall grade in the class.  I really wanted to do well on this test and coming out of it 2 and a half hours later it is safe to say that i think I did alright.  I have already learned the important lesson of patience that is required immediately following a test like that  because it would be a waste of energy for me to worry all weekend about how I did on that test.  The grade will be what it will be, and it won't change now that I have turned in my answers.  So I can accept whatever grade I end up with.  After class I had to go straight to work, which I will admit I was not very excited about.  All I really wanted to do was be outside and enjoy the beautiful Autumn day that was unfolding already.  A sense of responsibility put me in my car and pushed me to drive toward what needed to be accomplished.

My work is cleaning homes, and the first one that I went to was the Matson's in the Homestead Resort.  They have a beautiful home overlooking Lake Michigan and the Manitou Islands, which really tends to make my work just a little bit easier.  I was listening to some different podcast shows while I worked that had a lot to do with being aware of your daily life and beliefs.  I think that these shows were a precursor to my later realizations, or at least contributed and very likely prepared me.  Once I had finished cleaning at the Matsons I got into the car and noticed that I had a few missed calls so I retrieved my voice mail messages just like I always do, while on my way to the next house to clean.  Here is where that special moment and realization occurred.   The first message was my Dad, who lives out in New Hampshire.  The second message immediately following him was my Mom.  

Now to most of you reading this that might not seem like a very big deal to have both of your parents call and leave messages.  Well here is the thing, it is a very big deal for me to hear from both of them like that.  My biological parents were divorced when I was 8 years old, and since that time I have never really thought about them in a way that they were "my parents."  Let me explain that a little further...  Yes, I have a Mom, and yes I have a Dad, but I have never had the traditional family experience.   I don't know anything different, so I can't say that I am at all disappointed in how my life has developed without the having the two together.  God surely enriched my life with family and friends and special people along the way that fulfilled the needs that would have been filled by having two parents.  My Mom did an amazing job with me and Jen, there is not one doubt about that.  My Dad, well, he unfortunately chose to live farther away, and our relationship was always something that seemed to me to be in need of more.  It hasn't been until more recently that I have ever really felt that Father/Daughter connection.   Please don't misunderstand, I have always had a great relationship with my dad, but as an adult I finally feel like we have the relationship I always prayed for.

The amazing part about their phone calls is that with in each call they told me they loved me, they were thinking about me and that they hoped everything was going well for me on that day.  I pressed the call "end" button, sat my cell phone down and said aloud "I am loved!"  I have never felt such a pure emotion in regard to my identity in all of my life, and to know that my parents love me so very much and that they are proud, and they are there for me.   Even though they are not together and married, together, the two people who were apart of making me and bringing me into the world, share a love for their daughter that is honest and true.  It is a realization I have never before recognized or known was possible.

  I have to admit I have always believed in God's will, and even though my parents did not end up together the people who they are married have also been extreme blessings in my life and I have never doubted their love either.  My parents are happy in their separate marriages, and I am happy for the lives they have built in their new marriages.  Really if you think about it I have parents times two which equates to double the love.  Wow, I really am blessed!  

I have never doubted my Mom and Dad's love, I just never had the thought "My Parents love me"- meaning together they love me!  (Even though not technically together)  I think about Lauren and Riley and how blessed they are to have Tod and I together, so in love with them.  They don't know any other way and I am so thankful for the family that we are.  I arrived home a couple hours later and my smile was mirrored back to me through Tod and the kids.  The love I have in my heart, the gift that both my parents shared with me has opened up an entire new way of thinking for me and I will be an even stronger Mama and wife because of it.  We are called to love one another, it is a gift we can freely share.  Let us not forget to tell the people in our lives we love them, we appreciate them, we believe in them.  There is power in proclaiming love, it is the gift that gives so much more than we can ever imagine!